Boys & Girls Club: Overcoming Chaos

Alright, its time to be honest. Volunteering with youth, no matter where you are, is going to be chaotic. Here’s my advice.

1) Remain calm.
2) Approach and address children one at a time.
3) Remember each child is unique and it will take time for you to understand him or her. Likewise, it will take time for children to understand who you are.

I’m inspired to jot down of few words of advice and encouragement while performing a youth service position because, as fun as it can be, small things make your work as a volunteer difficult.

For an entire hour of volunteer work on Monday, Dec. 17th, L was jumping out from corners of the room and screaming in my ears. I’ve struggled with this same young gentleman enough times in the past to know that he uses screaming as a coping mechanism.

Screaming, at least for L, helps him deal with stress. However, L manages to scream his stress directly into me.

So what do you do?

1) Remain calm and take a second to think about what to say.

2) Focus in on L and pay less attention your surroundings. The brain can focus and really zero in on one thing at a time. The Boys & Girls Club serves a lot of youth and there are a lot of distractions – but when it comes time to mentor a child, you need to focus.

3) Speak with with L. Discover screaming is “fun” for him. Explain, “L, I admire your creativity, but I think it would be best if you used it towards something that doesn’t harm or negatively impact others. You’re hurting my ears, buddy.”

4) Here’s an important step: Acknowledge that you aren’t going to permanently change a child’s life with one conversation. L continued to scream until he received a STEP (the discipline policy at the Boys & Girls Club, Rochester).

I’d like to comment on my last tip. Volunteers perform an awesome service and make a HUMONGOUS difference – one uninspired by the changing hands of money. However, remember to have fun, keep a positive attitude and give up some of the control.

You can’t always be the hero, changing lives for the better and keeping everyone safe. Other people don’t need a hero – not if we want them to grow up to be independent leaders.

Volunteer service is all about new friends, new experiences and good times.

BGC and Kiwanis: On Garland Popcorn

Thursday, Dec. 13’s volunteer work with the Builder’s Club of Kiwanis at Golden Hill School and Torch Club at the Boys & Girls Club passed into one of those messy, gloppy and wonderful memories of arts and crafts.

You might think arts and crafts wouldn't count as a service project, but the way they engage kids is incredible. One moment Boys & Girls Club member J is bored off his gourd and the next, he’s stringing up popcorn on a string and telling me about the time he donated money to a homeless man.

I volunteer for Torch Club and for Builder’s Club along with Diane, the super woman who can. This lady works nights, volunteers days and enacts random acts of kindness at every moment in between. She got both groups going with popcorn garland projects, cookie baking projects and Christmas decoration projects.

V Tip 005: If you want to be effective and to enjoy your time as a volunteer, connect with someone starry eyed and positive.

J wanted to make a gigantic cookie into the shape of a tree. F wanted to leave flour hand prints everywhere. I'm learning so much from working with these guys, I often forget the most basic of lessons. As messy as things are in the world, we can create something amazing.

Possibly, the best cookies I ever tasted.

Boys & Girls Club: A Blizzard of Inspiration

V Tip 004: Use the tools around you to make your job successful.

Dec 10, 2012: It snowed two days ago; the first time we've had a real snow fall in the community in almost 300 days. Volunteer work requires that you take advantage of changes like this. It’s new. It’s fresh. It makes Boys & Girls Club kids want to sled. And so we did.

It was 5:00 pm and the typical schedule of the Boys & Girls Club required that we did something academic during that time: completing homework, reading or working on an art project. Instead, we went outside to sled.

I made sure the sledding happened by getting a Boys & Girls Club staff to come with us, by obtaining sleds from the Club closet and by asking a few educational questions before pushing kids down the hill, whooping and laughing.

“What is snow made out of?”

“What is 12 X 5?”

“What is a cumulus cloud?”

In between the questions, M complained about her freezing fingers and I lent her my gloves. S later complained that his ears were freezing and I lent him my hat. Oftentimes, the easiest solution is right in front of you.

Boys & Girls Club of Rochester: Let It Be

“Do you want to see how fast I can drink this water?” said T.

"You are the Lava Monster," A said, refusing to negotiate, "and you can’t climb up here to tag us. You have to stay down there.

Many adults would have answered, “No,” to the previous two statements. But I don’t see how that would be possible. Volunteering at the Boys & Girls Club on 12/5/12 taught me in invaluable lesson that I can’t get out of my head. It’s too catchy.

V Tip 002: Let it be, let it be ….

Barbara Coloroso, youth speaker and author of “kids are worth it,” argues that if a situation isn't life threatening or morally threatening to children, they should get the chance to live it out. I’m a volunteer, not a parent, but I want Boys & Girls Club kids to grow up as independent leaders and sculptors of a changing world. These leaders need to grow in their own worlds – we need to let them be.

No, I’m not recommending youth service volunteers permit bullying, violence or worse before their own eyes. But today, T tackled me when I entered the building. L crept close to my face and screamed. D decided he didn't want anyone to talk to him ever again. “Okay,” I said, offering guidance but playing right along. I caught T, made faces right back at L and gave D the space he needed while waiting five yards away. All volunteers should aspire to become the Lava Monster.

Boys & Girls Club of Rochester: World Exhileration

Boys & Girls Club:
What? A safe place where kids can hang out.
Who? Members ages 6 – 18 with volunteers ages 21 +
Volunteer Positions: Mentorship, tutoring, music, language, fitness, sports and more upon request.
Volunteer Process Time: Two week minimum.
More Info: http://www.bgclubroch.org



We threw open the two front doors. Unleashing our freedom, we ran. You could do that outside: no reminders that we needed to walk, no circle time, no homework and no worries. It was only inevitable that our running turned into a race. M, S and little K took off sprinting toward the far fence. “You think you can outrun me,” I must have said, touching the fence first. K giggled and raced back from where we started.

Volunteering Tip 001: Keep an open mind and, like a veteran traveler, revel in new experiences. Volunteering somewhere new is like entering another world or engaging others who have a different culture than your own. You take it all in, adapt and join in the movement.

After racing and playing a few energetic games of Dodgeball, I reentered the Boys & Girls Club building on Dec. 3, 2012, realizing how unique an experience it is to hang out with people of every single age group.

• T talks about his kid traveling the world. He’s worried, excited, and uncertain whether or not I could understand what it’s like.

• C talks with me about his Red Ninja Lego warrior. He wants me to help make him an entire world.

• A and M talk about Twilight with me. They’d rather not say if they are team Edward or Jacob because it might get too heated.

• I ask B about riding bicycles at night. He tells me to go for it.

• R is practicing logging onto the computer. She cries when an educational web site won’t accept her password and I tell her its okay.

When you volunteer in places like this, you learn something new every day. You may not know what your role will be – mentor, listening ear, friend, confidant, food source, punching bag, or tutor. But, given time, you feel like a part of a boisterous family. Loving every minute of it.